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Parent Alert Articles: Today's Teen magazine
September, 2009
Teen Driving: How ready is your teen to hit the road, take responsibility and be accountable? By, Stefanie Lagana
The statistics are staggering when it comes to 16 year old drivers. "Even though teen drivers only represent approximately 7 percent of the driving population, teen drivers account for approximately 14 percent of all traffic-related fatalities. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), motor vehicle accidents are the leading cause of death among teens in the United States." Posted on June 10, 2009 by LaBovick Law.
When your teen comes out of DMV screaming "I passed, I passed my driving test"! Life as you know it will never be the same!
As a parent this can be one of the most stressful journeys you may ever have. When your teen gets behind the wheel you'll find yourself holding on to anything you can get your hands on, while screaming "slow down, this isn't a rocket" and slamming your foot to break for your life, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Here are some tips to assist you in your journey as your teen becomes a full-fledged driver.
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Your children mimic you: set an example, wear a seatbelt, no texting, wear a headset, and obey traffic laws
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Don't take your teen on the road immediately: become familiar with the vehicle, use an empty parking lot to practice driving.
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Sign your teen up for Drivers Ed: the rules of the road have changed since you got your license and we all have developed some bad habits, give your teen the opportunity to learn from the experts
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Set limits: NO cell phone use while driving, especially texting (visit this web-site) http://www.safeteendrivingclub.org/index.php (Learning Center tab): Parenting, Teens Who "Just Don't Get It"...And Why 30 minute video from the Dr. Phil Show about teen texting while driving - Courtesy of Virtual Driver Interactive]
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Set curfews: as a new driver, driving in the dark / bad weather can be hazardous, restrict your teen based upon their needs, job, school etc.
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Setting rules: sign a Parent-Teen Driving Agreement. Obtain a sample agreement at www.AAA.com (Teen Driving tab)
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No tolerance rule: NO drinking and driving, or getting into a friend's car who has been drinking!
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Distractibility; a common issue for young drivers: limit to 1 passenger in the vehicle at a time, overloading cars can be extremely distracting
It's our role as parents to ensure our children are responsible drivers. If they are not mature, responsible 16yr olds, then we as parents shouldn't allow them to get behind the wheel of a car.
Be prepared for your 16year old, get involved. Set your teen up for success by make your teen accountable for their actions and behaviors.
About the author: Stefanie Palermo Lagana is a Certified Empowerment Life Coach at Expanding Your Visions. Please visit her website for more information on the "Power of Energy" to learn how to effectively communicate to your teen and those you encounter on a daily basis. Every thought you have has an Energy Consequence, so use it wisely. www.Expandingyourvisions.com
August 2009: "Communication" Tools for Success
How well do we communicate, with our children, our husband, family and those around us? Each one of us has our own way of communicating, however how well is it serving us? Keeping the lines of communication open is the key to having a healthy responsible teenager. Our children as the “Experts Say” need structure, and secretly need it to cope in today’s ever changing world. It’s a double edge sword, we want to teach independence, responsibility and the ability to make good choices and yet at the same time have a handle on where they are, what they’re doing and who they are hanging out with. As a Teen and Parent Empowerment Life Coach I help my clients make better choices and effectively learn how to communicate so that your teen will actually listen to what you have to say! My “Tools for Success”, program is very helpful in learning how to talk to your teen to set rules, limits and responsibilities…
Be alert: it’s extremely important to be alert, aware and “Present” when having a conversation with your child. When you don’t listen to what your teen is saying, it tells them you don’t value what they think.
Good Listening skills: create an atmosphere of good listening; it’s what your teen isn’t telling you that are most important. Listen for clues, usually one word in a conversation that could delineate what is the real core issue.
Intuition: Use your intuition, if something doesn’t seem quite right try a different approach to open up the conversation.
Reframe: it’s important to use positive words; it can make or break the conversation and bring it to a screeching halt! Make your child feel like they are being heard. Don’t focus on the negative, point out on a regular basis their accomplishments. It’s important not to be reactive: try to control words like “You’re kidding me, right”? “What were you thinking?” Use more positive words: “What made you make that choice”? “Looking back, how could you have done that differently?”
Acknowledging: This is a very powerful tool in communicating; by letting the other person know we listened, that we care what they are telling us. Paraphrase what they have just told you: I hear what you’re saying, it must be very difficult to……..
Plant seeds: use their values to help build self esteem: for example: I know you know the right thing to do in this situation, I’ll let you think about it and you can get back to me.
Giving your teen the power to make choices will enable them to be more conscious of making the right choice!
July 2009:
What’s in YOUR medicine cabinet that can harm your teen, their friends and your community?
“Pharm” parties are becoming increasingly more popular among our teenage children. In today’s teen world Pharmaceutical drugs are as easy to access as a bowl of cheerios. Teens are raiding their parents, their friends and grandparents medicine cabinets for prescription drugs. These parties are called “farming” and they are dangerous to our teens! A “Pharm” party is usually at a home where parents are out. Kids raid prescription drugs from their cabinets, empty their pockets into a large bowl, mix it up, grab a handful, and swallow them usually with some alcohol and VOILA…. a free high. The frightening part is that the combination of these drugs can be and usually is, deadly! This is a serious issue in our communities and we need to stop the madness, and it starts at home.
What’s the cost of NOT to communicating with your child? What’s the risk? I know we as parents want to believe that “our children” wouldn’t do such a thing they’re smarter than that, etc. However the reality is; in order to keep that statement true we need to open our eyes, educate, protect and be aware of where your teen is, who they are with and what they are doing.
A few things you can do: Explain to your teen the dangers and risks of mixing unknown drugs, (especially with alcohol). Know where your teens are going; if there will be a parent at home and speak to that parent! Share this information with everyone you know. Alert them to secure their prescriptions in a safe place. Keep track of your refills, and if your child has been prescribed a drug, you administer it and control it.
Newtown Bee Snapshot Article, June 18 2009 Snapshot 6/18/2009
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Stefanie Palmero
Stefanie Palermo-Lagana is featured this week.
Occupation: I am a certified empowerment life coach, and I also am accredited as a leadership coach. My business Expanding Your Visions is specifically targeted to helping teens and parents. The process is to have everyone be able to look at things from a different perspective. I use a kaleidoscope as a tool to show that there is a pattern and if it is shifted even slightly it changes. There are a lot of different ways to look at situations. What if our children saw life as an opportunity without mistakes? Imagine the possibilities!
Family: I have a husband, Dominick, and we have two children. Cynthia is 17 and Phillip is 14. Being a teen coach and having two teens, I'm really in the thick of it. It enhances my ability to be a better coach.
Pets: We have Molly Brown, a Shi-Tzu and Maltese cross, and she is the love of our lives. I think she thinks she is a person. She's really been a welcome addition to our family. She'll be 4 years old in July.
How long have you lived in Newtown? We've been here for four years in March. We came here from Ridgefield.
What do you like to do in your free time? I belong to a Bunco group in our neighborhood. I also love to quilt. I have a passion for it. My background is in the arts and I love fabric. I started quilting about ten years ago. It's fun. I love to go to the movies. I'm a very social person, so we entertain a lot. We also like to do a lot of family things, like boating in the summer.
Do you have a favorite movie? The Bucket List . The building of friendship between those two men, sharing their insights into life. It was a wonderful movie and Morgan Freeman is an amazing actor.
What is the best thing about Newtown? I just love the people. We didn't know anyone when we moved here four years ago. Our son plays lacrosse, and when we walked into the lacrosse team, people were so welcoming. People would have coffees and invite me. My neighbors went out of their way to make me comfortable in our neighborhood. The focus here really seems to be on our children. People are very passionate about the education and the sports programs. There are so many people who volunteer and make a difference to support our children.
Do you have a personal philosophy? I believe as a coach that you have to walk the talk. In every challenge there is an opportunity. I'm conscious of what I do in my life, so I am creating my life instead of letting it create me. I see the opportunity in everything.
What is the silliest or most dangerous thing you have done? I love adventure! One time, I was on Candlewood Lake with friends in a small boat. There's this cliff on Candlewood where people jump off a swing rope. We watched for a while, and then I said, "We have to do that!" So we jumped out of the boat, swam to the cliff, climbed up the mountain. I jumped off and then I didn't know when to let go of the rope. When I finally let go, I just slid down the rope and landed in the water. I thought I broke all of my fingers; but it was a blast.
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